Penelope Sycamore
Usually goes by Penny, Penelope is the mother of Essie and Alice, wife of Paul, and daughter of Martin. She writes plays and paints as hobbies because it makes her happy, but is terrible at both. Penny is a loving mother and wife who is constantly concerned with the welfare of her family. Her main goal is to make sure everyone is happy, particularly her daughter Alice. She is a main character.
Essie Carmichael
Wife of Ed, daughter of Penny and Paul Sycamore, Granddaughter of Martin, sister of Alice. She is childish. As a hobby she makes candy that Ed sells. Essie dreams of being a ballerina. She has spent 8 years studying with Boris Kolenkhov, but is a terrible dancer.
Rheba
The African American
maid and cook to the Sycamore family. She is treated almost like a part of the family. She is dating Donald. In the words of Mrs. Sycamore, "The two of them are really cute together, something like
Porgy and Bess."
Paul Sycamore
Father of Essie and Alice, husband of Penny, Son-in-law of Martin. He is a tinkerer who manufactures
fireworks in the
basement with the help of his assistant Mr. De Pinna. His
hobby is playing with
erector sets.
Mr. De Pinna
The ice man who came inside to speak to Paul eight years before, and never left. He helps Mr. Sycamore build
fireworks, and moonlights as a model in Mrs. Sycamore's paintings. He is a nutty guy.
Ed Carmichael
Husband of Essie, son-in-law of Paul and Penny. He is a xylophone player, and distributes Essie's candies. Ed is an amateur
printer who prints anything that sounds good to him. He prints up dinner menus for his family and little quotes that he places in the boxes of Essie's
candy. He also likes to make masks.
Donald
The African American boyfriend of Rheba, who seems to serve as volunteer handyman for the Sycamores. In the words of Mrs. Sycamore, "The two of them are really cute together, something like
Porgy and Bess."
Martin Vanderhof
Referred to mostly as Grandpa in the play. Father-in-law to Paul, father of Penny, grandfather of Alice and Essie. He is an eccentric happy old man who has never paid his
income tax because he doesn't believe in it, as he feels that the government wouldn't know what to do with the money if he paid for it. He lives his life by the
philosophy 'don't do anything that you're not going to enjoy doing'. He goes to circuses, commencements, throws darts, and collects stamps.
Alice Sycamore
Fiancée of Tony Kirby, daughter of Paul and Penny, Granddaughter of Martin, sister of Essie. She the only "normal"
family member. She has an office job, and is rather embarrassed by the eccentricities of her family when she has Tony and his parents at her house, yet she still loves them. She tends to be a pessimist.
Wilbur C. Henderson
An employee of the
IRS. He comes to collect the tax money owed by Grandpa, and can't understand why the latter won't pay income tax.
Tony Kirby
Fiancé of Alice, Son of Mr. and Mrs. Kirby. He sees how, even though the Sycamores appear odd, they are really the perfect
family because they
love and care about each other. His own family is very proper and has many issues none of them will admit. He is vice president of Kirby and Co.
Boris Kolenkhov
A
Russian who escaped to America shortly before the Russian Revolution. He is very concerned with world politics, and the deterioration of
Russia. He is the
ballet instructor of Essie, aware that she is untalented at dancing, but knows that she enjoys dancing so he keeps working with her. He likes the
Greeks and the
Romans, questions society, and is interested in world affairs. He is opinionated and often loudly declares that something "stinks"!
Gay Wellington
An
actress whom Mrs. Sycamore meets on a bus and invites home to read one of her plays. She is an alcoholic, gets very drunk and passes out shortly after arriving at the Sycamore's home.
Anthony P. Kirby
Husband of Mrs. Kirby, father of Tony. He is a very proper man who is president of Kirby and Co. and secretly despises his job. His hobby is raising expensive
orchids. He is also a member of the Harvard Society, the Union Club, the National Geographic Society, and the Racquet Club.
Miriam Kirby
Wife of Mr. Kirby, mother of Tony. She is an extremely prim and proper woman and is horrified by the goings-on in the Sycamore household. Her hobby is
spiritualism.
G-Man 1, G-Man 2 (Jim), G-Man 3 (Mac)
Three agents who come to investigate Ed because of the
communist quotes he prints up and places in Essie's candy boxes, such as "God is the State – the State is God".
The Grand Duchess Olga Katrina
She was one of the Grand Duchesses of Russia before the Revolution, another being her sister, the Grand Duchess Natasha. Since then she has been forced to flee to America where she has found work as a
waitress in
Childs Restaurant. The rest of her family has had a similar fate, such as her Uncle Sergei, the Grand Duke, who is now an elevator man. She loves to cook as a
hobby.
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